Sunday, June 4, 2023
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Nan
Sorry for the delay. It’s been rough without you.
Firstly, thank you for keeping your word to me. You transcended so much over the last few years. At times, in our deep talks I know you said you accomplished everything in life you set out to do. And you always told me you met so many amazing people , and all the great friends who were always there for you and our family. But you held on for me, to see me get married, and to meet the greatest joy in my life Willow. I’m forever so grateful.
You’ve done so much for me in my life. Fun for me wasn’t going out and partying and under age drinking. And spending money I didn’t earn. I wasn’t spoiled. Fun for me was cutting the lawn, while you trimmed the bushes. Fixing the carburetor on the firebird, and washing the cars all year round. Where we had to heat the water house in the winters with ice nearby. Digging out storm drains. Cleaning out the gutters. Starting out with me holding the ladder. Then I graduated to the guy on the ladder. Oh the fun we had. Just doing things. I never knew it but you turned me into a man. I didn’t see it at the time.
Lately, I’ve been so unsure I feel I’ve forgotten everything. But with how you being how you were. And perfecting everything. It’s engrained in me. Muscle memory is real. “Do it right, or don’t do it at all”. “Don’t put off tomorrow what can be done today” “Don’t pay someone for something you can do yourself.” Always being prepared. Taking our summer vacations making sure we had essential tools incase we broke down. Always being prepared and thinking ahead to avoid crisis. When I first got diagnosed with diabetes, insurance hadn’t even found out yet. Me needing insulin that night. You and gram didn’t even question it. Spending over 5,000$. It’s not the money it’s the fact that I mattered to someone. Family that cared about me and always took care of me had my back. Didn’t want anything in return. The holiday parties It would take years to list everything. But do know I thank you everyday as you cross my mind.
You working 10 hour days. And having baseball catch with me when you got home. Coming to all my ball games. No matter what happened you were always there. ALWAYS. Lol, after an amazing home cooked meal from gram. Than 20 minutes later us barking snack time. “Mama what’s for snack”. Thank you for all the sacrifices you made for our family. For those who think I’m a good person or decent. Wish they could have known who and how Nan was. He was simply the best. My iron man. I miss you everyday.
I truly hope there is a heaven. Cause just being with you and gram and daddy again would be all I need. Yes uncle Phil too. If not I better get a hall pass for a day. Thank you for being my family teaching me everything I know. And doing things for me I don’t think I would even do for me. You always listened to me. Made me feel important. Like the things I did mattered. You always made a big deal.
With undying love,
Birdman
